Light of Darkness
by xytera
Summary: Gaara was Naruto's very essence. Even if he had to force him, Naruto would rather live a lie than a life without Gaara. NaruGaa AU DarkFic One-Shot


A/N: I'll get back to my other stories someday *cries*...this is a story I found while browsing my old stories so I thought I'd post it up. Rated M for a reason.

Credits to Kishimoto Masashi for the characters. The story is mine.

* * *

"Stop it."

Ignoring the demand, Naruto continued kissing the pale column of Gaara's neck, nipping lightly at the prominent collarbone in reprimand while he trailed his hands up Gaara's slim clothed form.

"Naruto," Gaara tried again, attempting to push the insistent blond away. "Stop."

If Gaara had really wanted to, he could have broken away and disabled Naruto, but Naruto knew Gaara wouldn't. No matter what Naruto did to him, Gaara would never raise a hand against him. Naruto was disgusted with himself for using it against his dear friend, but he couldn't help it. He wanted Gaara so much. It was an indescribable need, one that could easily fell him if Gaara so much as spared a glance at him.

And Naruto couldn't stop himself if he tried. He knew each time he forced himself on Gaara, he was slowly but surely picking away at the bond that held them together. Even after it shattered and Gaara began to hate him, Naruto knew Gaara wouldn't leave. He couldn't. Gaara was indebted to Naruto, so much that he would endure anything to stay by Naruto's side, and Naruto was madly and deeply in love with Gaara, so much that he would force Gaara to copulate with him despite Gaara's obvious unwillingness.

"Take off your clothes," Naruto murmured, straightening to nuzzle Gaara's cheek. Despite the sickening swirling of guilt in his gut, Naruto couldn't help but become aroused at the thought of seeing Gaara naked. No matter how many times Naruto laid eyes on the flawless form, he couldn't get enough.

"Naruto, don't do this," Gaara said lowly, a deep, pained furrow between his hairless brows and a hurt look in his black-ringed pale green eyes.

Naruto's heart ached at the sight, but he couldn't stop. Gaara didn't want him in this way, but Naruto did. He had for far too long.

"Do it," Naruto bit out more harshly than he'd intended. His heart thumped with anticipation at the prospect of seeing Gaara's fair, unblemished skin – so soft and silky to the touch. His dick strained in his pants.

Gaara stood stock-still for a long minute, reluctance evident in his every pore. He only thought of Naruto as a dear friend – he had never imagined it would turn out like this, and his chest ached with sorrow at what they had become. It was abhorrent – revolting – and he died a little inside every time Naruto's cheerful blue eyes turned dark with lust.

Because of him.

With a heavy heart, Gaara lifted his hand, which felt like lead, to the hem of his long-sleeved shirt. He couldn't avoid this – he owed his life, his very existence, to Naruto, and there was no way he could ever pay his precious and only friend back. If this was what he had to do, then he would do it.

Stepping back, Naruto smiled humorlessly and allowed Gaara room to strip. He hungrily took in every inch of perfect milky white skin being revealed as Gaara lifted the shirt above his head and dropped it to the floor. Naruto wanted to touch him so bad, but he restrained himself. He would get to touch all he wanted later, but now he wanted to watch.

Gaara hesitated briefly at his belt buckle, but seeing Naruto's impatient look, he undid it, pulling the belt out of the loops and dropping it next to his shirt. Next, he unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans, sliding them slowly down his hips to reveal his white briefs. Gaara purposely didn't pull them down along with his jeans, if only to prolong the inevitable. He dreaded having sex with his friend, and every time they did it, despite his body feeling pleasure during the act due to Naruto's skillful preparations, Gaara always felt sick afterwards. It was like forcing oneself to eat a hated food out of politeness; reluctant to eat it with no choice but to force it down and feel like puking afterwards.

Left in only his briefs, Gaara resigned himself to his fate. He hooked his thumbs into the elastic waistband, sliding them down and off, leaving him naked and embarrassed. He wanted to cover himself, but he forced himself to stand straight, knowing Naruto liked to look at his body. Gaara's face was wiped clean of emotion, his eyes dead as he gazed over Naruto's shoulder at the white wall.

"So beautiful," Naruto whispered in awe, drinking in the sight of Gaara's slender perfect body, completely hairless but for the mess of reddish auburn locks on his head. His hungry eyes lingered on Gaara's soft pink nipples and limp penis. He licked his lips, his cock so hard it actually hurt.

"Come here," Naruto said, not willing to miss a single graceful movement as Gaara slowly took a step forward and then another and another until he was standing in front of Naruto, head tilted slightly to look up at him.

Naruto smiled. Gaara was so tiny – even though Naruto was only a couple inches taller himself, but Gaara was slimmer with delicate features and less muscle mass. Naruto was healthily tanned, broad-shouldered, and his body toned with lean muscle from years of combat training. Naruto liked seeing the contrast of their bare bodies next to each other. It made him feel possessive – hungry. He wanted to sample Gaara and savor him like a rare delicacy.

"Take off my clothes."

Obeying the husky order, Gaara robotically reached up to slowly unzip Naruto's orange jacket. Naruto shrugged it off, letting it carelessly fall to the floor. Gaara lightly grasped the hem of Naruto's dark navy t-shirt and tugged it up. Naruto raised his arms and let Gaara pull it off. Shirtless, Naruto finally gave in to his desire and reached to touch the perfect skin that beckoned to him.

While Gaara undid Naruto's jeans, Naruto ran his callused hands reverently over fine, baby-soft flesh, enjoying how Gaara's sensitive body quivered under the touch. Gaara hated being touched, and even though Naruto knew this, he couldn't help himself. Gaara's body was like a magnet, and Naruto was irresistibly drawn to it.

"Gaara," Naruto breathed just as his pants were tugged down, allowing his throbbing erection to spring free.

Gaara avoided looking at it, but it was nearly impossible. It was huge, red, and obviously very, _very_ eager to pierce Gaara all the way to the hilt. Gaara's gut churned unpleasantly.

"Touch me," Naruto demanded, cock jumping in excitement. The guilt was still there, except now it was overpowered by his desire. He knew he would hate himself afterwards, but it was like he was stuck in an unstoppable, never-ending cycle where the guilt would fade into desire only to have the desire to fade back into guilt and self-loathing when it was over. Then he would see Gaara and it would begin all over again.

Gaara's expression was inscrutable as he grasped Naruto's lightly bouncing penis, barely fitting his hand around it. It always felt weird to touch another man's penis, and the hard yet silky feel of Naruto's sent cold shivers down Gaara's spine. Figuring it was best to quickly get it over with, Gaara began pumping the pulsing length in his fist with quick movements and a squeeze here and there. He had done this enough times to know what Naruto liked.

"Uhn…oh, yeah," Naruto groaned appreciatively, head falling back as his eyes closed to enjoy the sensation of Gaara's soft palm sliding against his dick. It felt so good.

Gaara kept his gaze down at the floor, face heated in shame despite his emotionless façade. If it had been anyone else, he would have retaliated with utter brutality, but this was _Naruto_. The same Naruto who had been the only one to understand him; the one who had drawn him from the endless depths of darkness; the one who had shown him he could change for the better; the _only_ one to stay by his side.

Gaara's heart ached at the loss. He felt like he was slipping back into the darkness which had engulfed him for so many years, wading sluggishly through a mass of dank sludge for some hope to pull him from his despair. Naruto had been his hope – his light which had led him to finally open his veiled eyes, causing tears to spill from the sheer brilliance, yet he had never felt so glad to be alive to simply _see_ what he had been missing for so many dark deprived years.

And now Gaara's dry eyes silently wept for the bright, joyful light to shine in his dark world once again. His light had been tainted, the glimpses of dark lust he should have noticed long before dimming the brightness to a shadow of what it had been. The few years of innocent light had vanished since the first time Naruto had forced himself on Gaara, and Gaara had no one to blame but himself. He should have known better than to seek what he should have never wanted.

Life.

Happiness.

Contentment.

"I love you, Gaara," Naruto said, gazing down at Gaara in adoration.

And Gaara wept. Silently, his heart shattered and the last of his hopes faded from his dry eyes before he looked up, his face perfectly placid like a doll's.

"Tell me you love me," Naruto begged, desperate to hear the lie he knew Gaara would say – the lie that would never be true.

"I love you," Gaara lied emotionlessly before taking Naruto's cock into his mouth, the bittersweet words tasting even dirtier than the cock in his mouth.

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End


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